Letting Go
by Micaiah
Summary: Missing scene from the season finale, 11.23. Sam's not about to let his brother face Amara alone but Dean has other plans.


**Missing scene from 11.23, after Dean became the bomb but before the cemetery scene.**

 **For Mieke. I hope this helps.**

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 _All I have is one last chance_

 _I won't turn my back on you_

 _Take my hand, drag me down_

 _If you fall then I will too_

Sam stood quietly in his brother's bedroom doorway, watching as Dean wandered around the room, touching things, as if committing it all to memory. Dean's fingers lingered on a picture of him and Sam with their Mom when Sam was only a few weeks old. When Dean glanced up and saw Sam standing there, he grinned sheepishly and motioned toward a cardboard box sitting in the floor. "My porn collection is in there. Don't judge me, okay?"

Sam managed a small grin. "Dude, I've been judging you on your taste in porn for years."

Dean shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a man of unusual taste."

Sam tried to smile again but found he couldn't. Dean was staring death in the face and as usual, he was making jokes but Sam knew his brother…Dean was scared.

"Dean, I'm coming with you."

Dean shook his head. "No, Sammy, you're not."

"You don't get to make that call, Dean." Sam stalked into the room, towering over his brother, anger bubbling just beneath the surface. He didn't want to fight but there was no way in hell he was letting Dean do this by himself. "I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you face Amara alone."

"You don't have a choice, Sam." Dean opened his closet and gave it a cursory glance. "You know, there might be some porn stashed in here somewhere too."

Sam reached over and slammed the closet door shut. "Stop talking about your damn porn, Dean!" he yelled. "This isn't a joke. I'm going with you and that's final."

"Sam, you're not going." Dean's voice was soft and full of patience. Sam felt his chin start to tremble as all the anger drained from his body to be replaced by anguish. Dean gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "If I go to Amara with you by my side, she's never gonna let me get close enough to do what I have to do. She'll never believe me. I have to do this alone, Sammy. I have to. It's the only way we can win."

 _It's not winning if I lose my brother._

"Dean…I can't….."

Dean grasped Sam's face in both of his hands. "Yes, you can, Sammy. You're the strongest person I know. You're strong enough to let me go. Please let me do this."

Tears blurred Sam's vision as he offered his brother another argument, anything to make him rethink this plan. "I set her lose, Dean. It should be me."

"I'm not playing the blame game, Sammy," said Dean, his hands still resting against Sam's cheeks, tears in his own eyes. "But if you want to, then I can do you one better. This all started when I took the Mark. I made that choice and I'm making this one. I can end her, Sammy. It has to be me."

Sam had been willing to do whatever it took to get rid of Amara, even putting aside his own fear to work with Lucifer, although the fallen angel had tortured him in unspeakable ways for years in the cage. But this…..he couldn't do this. This was his brother, his rock, his world. How was he supposed to just let him go?

"Dean….please…"

"Sammy, no." Dean smiled sadly and pulled Sam into his arms as Sam buried his face in his brother's neck. "You have to let me do this, little brother, okay?"

Sam nodded, finally relenting, his tears soaking Dean's shirt collar as Dean held him, his own body trembling. Sam wished he could take away his brother's fear, wished he could take away the pain he must be feeling, but he knew he couldn't so he clung to him, hoping to give him strength, unwilling to let him go but knowing he must.

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 **Lyrics are _Without You_ by Breaking Benjamin.**

 **This little fic came about after a talk I had with a dear friend today. I thought of this fic and then wondered if I could even fit it in the episode but when I rewatched the finale it seemed like possibly something had been cut before the cemetery scene and even if it wasn't, it seemed like Jared was playing it that way, as if Sam was pissed about something and to me, that thing was the fact that Dean wouldn't let Sam go with him to face Amara. Jared and Jensen have such subtle ways of showing how Sam and Dean feel. It fascinates me to watch them and it doesn't hurt that they're both gorgeous. ;) Anyway, I feel like Sam and Dean had already had a talk and this is my version of it. Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome!**


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